forgottenmagia: (and discard the evidence)
byakuren "turbo granny" hijiri ƸӜƷ 聖白蓮 ([personal profile] forgottenmagia) wrote2011-12-09 06:57 pm

01  ❀  I’VE SPENT SO LONG SITTING DOWN HERE

I - [335 Brady Lane, morning of Tuesday]

[Hi, folks. Looks like the house has a new mom. Because there's a screech coming from the 'parents'' bedroom. And a frantic scrambling. And sudden clunking sounds. It seems she's fallen down the entire flight of stairs from the top floor to the bottom. She's at the landing, laying on her face.]

Ouch.

[Whelp, looks like she's not dead, at least.]

I do believe this is my bad karma for today. 

II - [phone - Wednesday morning]

Ah! Is this device working? Hello, populace of Mayfield. My name is Byakuren Hijiri. I'm the founder and head of the Buddhist Myouren Temple back in Gensokyo, Japan. I do ask, is anyone here from home? I tried to make contact yesterday, but the snow was interfering rather badly.

Additonally, if anyone ever wishes to study about our dharma-- [Something in the background cuts her off.]

III - [Brady Lane, morning - Friday]

[GUESS WHO'S NEVER SHOVELED SNOW BEFORE, GUYS. She seems to think it's some sort of fun activity. Because she's outside of her house, shoveling away and singing some sort of Japanese folk song.]

Now, I don't get why I hear people complaining about this activity so much. It's very invigorating. Hi-ho...

IV - [Church - evening, Friday]

[GUESS WHO'S ALSO NEVER BEEN TO A PLACE LIKE THIS. Mayfield is full of ~*~wonders~*~, guys. So don't mind her if you see her there, flipping through the prayer books, gaping in awe at the stained glass windows and pews, and generally just skipping over the tiles on the floor like a giddy schoolgirl.]

My, my, Christian churches are so lovely for the eyes.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Woah, that never works.]

A wise decision.

Did anyone explain this shithole to you yet?

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
That fucker...!

[You just reminded him of Kakine's existence. Give him a minute to rage about it.]

Stay away from him. He's a worthless piece of shit.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Folding his arms over his chest like a stubborn child.]

Tch. You're far too optimistic. He's the worst kind of scum. I may be a worthless piece of shit person myself, but I'm at least far better than the likes of that bastard.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
...I don't need your lectures. Regardless of what you believe, no higher power would forgive me, so you're already wasting your time.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Ha.

You don't know what kind of monster you're talking to. I've already killed an upwards of 10,000 people, so repenting is useless at this point.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
...There's something wrong with you.

Hmpth. If you're just as tainted as I am and you don't get it, then you must be delusional.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
...Not the kind of monster I meant.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
You just met me. You don't know anything.

...Whatever. Believe what you want, but it won't come true.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, but the bitch isn't me, is she, now? I don't know about her, but bad things happen when I'm not left alone.

[identity profile] redirections.livejournal.com 2011-12-10 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
...Huh?

[You Touhous confuse him.]

Heh. You don't get it, do you? People in contact with me tend to suffer.